“Yes means yes.” It is of utmost importance that you and your partner agree and give sexual consent before you engage in any sexual activity. Otherwise, of course, it will be classified as rape or sexual assault.
Sexual consent is all about setting boundaries and making sure that things are clear between you and your partner. You should give it throughout the act, but you can also revoke it if you feel uncomfortable. So, is it still rape even after you have given consent? Yes, it can be. “In reality, sexual assaults committed by strangers comprise only a very small percentage. An individual is 73% more likely to be assaulted by someone they know or someone close to them,” says Hung Tran, Psy.D.
Here are some instances that can constitute rape:
Your Partner Removes The Condom Even After You Required It
If your partner removes it either by force or manipulation even after you told them that a condom is a requirement, it is considered a sexual violation. This violation of trust is a big deal for some individuals.
Removing a condom may expose you to different dangers. You can be susceptible to various sexually transmitted infections (STIs), especially if he has multiple sex partners, not to mention the higher risk of HIV. For some couples, sex without a condom also increases the chance of unwanted pregnancies.
Someone Keeps Badgering You Until You Agree To Have Sex With Them
If someone has to keep pestering you to agree into having sex, then that is not consent. It is practically coercion, which negates the idea of consent. It should be about both parties wanting to be sexual with each other.
Your Partner Forces You Into A Sexual Act To Which You Didn’t Agree
Consent does not automatically mean that you agree with acts other than the one agreed upon. If you agreed to vaginal sex, but your partner penetrated you anally instead, that can be called rape. Acts that your partner forces you to do against your will constitute rape or sexual assault. It does not matter if you’ve had sex with them before. It also does not matter if you agreed to the act previously. Even if you are married, any sexual act done without your consent is still rape.
Consent Is Taken Back At Any Point During Sex
If you agree to have sex with a person, then you can take it back later or even during sex. If you had a change of mind before or during sex, you could still say no. Even if both of you are already naked on the bed, you can say no if you do not feel like having sex. “If a husband holds his wife down, pushes her, or imposes sex by hurting her, it’s rape. Making love doesn’t include making someone cry,” says Marie Hartwell-Walker, Ed.D., a psychologist and marriage and family counselor.
Consent is as easy as FRIES. Consent is
- freely given,
- enthusiastic, and
Any sexual activity without consent is rape. Anyone can be a victim regardless of age, race, gender, or sexual orientation. Some people are more at risk than others. Not all rape looks the same so that it can happen to anyone in different ways. You can always ask for help should you experience them. You are not alone. Your voice will not fall on deaf ears, and support is always available. “If you’re a victim of sexual assault, there are many resources available to you. The first and best place to start is at the National Sexual Violence Resource Center. Their “Find Help” resource page offers a directory of resources for your area, including victim support organizations that can be of further help,” a reminder from John M. Grohol, Psy.D.