A woman is naturally born to be loving, passionate, nurturing, and self-sacrificing.  She invests so much in the relationship that makes it easy for her to always be on the losing end.

I do not believe in the saying that love is blind.  The more accurate way of saying it is, “Lovers are blind,” especially women.   They can pretend to love doing things that they are not really in the mood of doing just because their partner likes it, and one of those things is sex.

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Many married women are forced to have sex with their husbands just for the sake of pleasing them or not wanting their partner to get mad.   They want to avoid conflict especially when children are involved.  And there are many cases like this, not only uneducated women but even professional. Successful women do suffer from marital rape or non-consensual sexual intercourse.

“In reality, sexual assaults committed by strangers comprise only a very small percentage. An individual is 73% more likely to be assaulted by someone they know or someone close to them,” says Hung Tran, Psy.D.

One of my clients, Zheri (not her real name), who is in her 40s, has been in a disharmonized marriage for years.  Her husband who is an alcoholic and an illegal substance abuser would often force her into having sex whenever he comes home, not minding if the kids are there or whatever the situation is.   If she held back, he would beat her up even in the presence of the children.   So to avoid violence, she would just give in to get it over with.

Remember, “If a husband holds his wife down, pushes her, or imposes sex by hurting her, it’s rape. Making love doesn’t include making someone cry,” says Marie Hartwell-Walker, Ed.D., a psychologist and marriage and family counselor.

“Common reactions to sexual assault include feeling like you can’t feel safe again, feeling ashamed, low esteem for self or others, feeling scared, and wondering if your life can ever be the same,” says licensed clinical psychologist Elizabeth Ramquist, Ph.D.

One day, she suddenly felt feverish and could not get up because of body aches.   She taught she was pregnant, so she had it checked.   She was glad she was not.  She visited her doctor, and after some tests, the doctor told her that she had been infected with a sexually transmitted disease.

Sexually Transmitted Disease In Women

Sexually transmitted disease or STD is the major public health challenge in the U.S. and in most parts of the world, especially among women who unfairly bear the long-term sequelae of STDs.  It can cause infertility, infant death, cervical cancer, and other serious complications.  Pregnant women infected with STD can even pass the disease to their baby while in their womb and on delivery.

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Impact Of STD On Women

Rape victims are often also the victims of STDs.  Most husbands are not aware that their wives are always at the losing end when it comes to rape or non-consensual sex, especially if the men are not practicing safe sex.

Sexually transmitted diseases severely affect women than men.

  1. A woman’s vagina is an ideal environment for bacteria to grow.
  2. Women are less likely to be symptomatic especially when infected with chlamydia or gonorrhea as compared to men. And since women can be asymptomatic, often STD is left untreated causing more permanent and severe health problems, such as pelvic inflammatory disease.
  3. Women usually get confused that STD symptoms are often mistaken for something else. Because it is normal for women to have discharged, they think that the burning and itching are nothing serious and could just be related to yeast infection.
  4. Genital ulcers caused by infection with herpes and syphilis can occur in the vagina although they may not be visible.
  5. Untreated STDs can cause infertility and ectopic pregnancy.

Being in a relationship does not mean you have to lose yourself and neglect your health.  It is your body, and it is your right to decide what is good and not good for you especially when it comes to having sex with your partner.  Being married is not a ticket for your husband to take advantage of you and worse, defile you with a sexually transmitted disease.

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Do not allow yourself to be like Zheri who kept her silence for years until she was told that she had contracted HIV from her husband.  It is not only Zheri who was affected by this disease but her children as well.  The good news is, it is not yet too late for her.  She sued her husband, and she is positive that the jury will be in her favor.    It was forced sex where she was left with no choice.

As a woman, protect yourself from rape and STDs by standing up for yourself.  Do not think of what other people would say and do not be blinded by your love for your spouse.  Do not let him get away from violating you.

If you think you are a victim of non-consensual sexual aggression or rape by your partner or some other guy, see your doctor and ask for STD testing.  You can avail of vaccines and available treatments for STDs to prevent serious health problems.

There are also women’s support centers and domestic violence programs that can help you.  If you will not make a move, who else can stop the abuse from happening right in your own home?

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