Was God Hiding While I Was Being Raped?


Having studied in a Christian school, we were taught that virtue and values are most important.  We were trained to be ladylike in speech and demeanor.  It was ingrained in us at a very young age that discipline, respect, and love for others should be our priority for us to start building a future full of positivity.


I grew up protected, loved, and cherished by everyone around me.  Who will ever think that such a tragedy will happen to me?


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The Nightmare

It was just like any ordinary Friday, and since there was no school the next day we were allowed to have some fun.  My parents are often home late during Fridays, so it was just me, my siblings, and my uncle who were home.   I, together with my siblings and some friends, decided to go out for some burgers and fries.  As it was getting dark, we headed back home after a few chats.

Upon entering the gate to our house, maybe the last one who got in forgot to lock it, and we didn’t notice that some guys whom we didn’t know we’re able to get in.


My siblings went to their rooms while I headed to my parents’ room to have a quick shower there.   I was already drying up when I heard a loud stump approaching the bathroom.  I thought it was just one of my siblings, but to my surprise, it was a big man I’ve never seen before.   He was tossing things around, as if searching for something, opening every drawer and cabinet. Not finding what he was looking for, he started walking towards the bathroom where I was hiding.


I was speechless, trembling in fear, but in my mind, I’ve been calling to God to protect me.   I was sitting there on the bathroom floor trying to hide.  I felt the cold steel of his gun against my shoulder.  I looked up, and he grabbed me asking me for cash and valuables.  In terror, I told him I would give him everything as long as he wouldn’t hurt me or anyone in the house.  Then he told me just to sit there.   He turned off the light.   At gunpoint, I thought he was going to shoot me, but I was stunned when he forced himself into me.  While he was doing that, I was praying.  I felt numb.  There was no clarity of thoughts.  All that I had with me were my fears and my tears.


When he was done, he asked me to get dressed and he tied me and directed me to the kitchen where my siblings and uncle were.   They were also hand-tied.   My instinct was to check on my siblings if they were hurt.  After having all the cash and jewelry the robbers needed, they fled immediately.  And my uncle called the police station.


The police were already in the house when my parents came.   It was the police who broke the news to them that I was raped.  I saw how hurt they were.  My mother was sobbing as she was heading towards me.


The material things that were gone can be recovered but not the one they’ve stolen from me.


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I Questioned God

It was like a nightmare that haunts me not just every night but every second of each passing day.   I was asking God, “Are you really there?”


“Why didn’t you hear my sobs?”


“Why did you allow it to happen?”



Learning To Trust Again

With counseling and with my parents’ support, I was able to survive the terror it caused me.  I may not understand why God allowed such things to happen, but I have learned to trust him.


God sometimes opens the hedge of protection, but that doesn’t mean that we will let the evil rule over us.  Satan has used those guys to try to discredit the values God had instilled in me.


My mom never fails to remind me to humble myself under the mighty hands of God and not to rebel against Him despite the brutal insult committed against me.


At that time, I questioned God.  I don’t exactly know why He allowed it to occur but I re-learned to trust and rest upon His promise of a better future.


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My Rewards

It was hard, but as time passed by, I have learned to forgive those criminals who assaulted me.  I have lifted their fate in God.


Life has to continue for a future of positivity.  And at the right time, God rewarded me by giving me a very loving husband who supports me in all my endeavors. We have lovely kids who also followed the narrow path leading to God’s kingdom.


I no longer count the loss.   Instead, I am forever grateful for the blessings God is pouring upon me and my whole family.